I know this is not nice but well I did say that I will post things that made me laugh and today too bad for the men out there because it's women's month I will be a bit feminist in this post (sorry guys you will have your day to bash us women someday! but not in here! LMAO!)
To all male readers excuse this post but I think it will make you laugh to and realise there is a stench of truth in these jokes. Also, I just want to give a little laugh to all the women out there who feel a bit stressed about the men in their lives that pulls them down. Peace!
To all male readers excuse this post but I think it will make you laugh to and realise there is a stench of truth in these jokes. Also, I just want to give a little laugh to all the women out there who feel a bit stressed about the men in their lives that pulls them down. Peace!
Laugh at yourself first, before anyone else can.
Elsa Maxwell
"How to impress a woman ?
Compliment her, cuddle her, kiss her, caress her, love her, stroke her, tease her, comfort her, protect her, hug her, hold her, spend money on her, wine and dine her, buy things for her, listen to her, care for her, stand by her, support her, buy flowers for her, go to the ends of the earth for her...
How to impress a man ?
Show up naked. Bring beer."
---
Man: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful ?"
God: "So you would love her."
Man: "But God, why did you make her so dumb ?"
God: "So she would love you."
---
"Diamonds are a girl's best friends.
Dogs are man's best friend.
So which is the dumber sex ?"
---
"Ever notice how many of women's problems can be traced to the male gender ?
— MENstruation,
— MENopause,
— MENtal breakdown,
— GUYnecology,
— HIMmorrhoids..."
---
"Q: Why do men have pet names for their penises ?
A: Because they don't like to take orders from a stranger."
---
"Q: What do men and women have in common ?
A: They both distrust men."
---
"Q: How can you tell the difference between men's real gifts and their guilt gifts ?
A: Guilt gifts are nicer."
---
Compliment her, cuddle her, kiss her, caress her, love her, stroke her, tease her, comfort her, protect her, hug her, hold her, spend money on her, wine and dine her, buy things for her, listen to her, care for her, stand by her, support her, buy flowers for her, go to the ends of the earth for her...
How to impress a man ?
Show up naked. Bring beer."
---
Man: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful ?"
God: "So you would love her."
Man: "But God, why did you make her so dumb ?"
God: "So she would love you."
---
"Diamonds are a girl's best friends.
Dogs are man's best friend.
So which is the dumber sex ?"
---
"Ever notice how many of women's problems can be traced to the male gender ?
— MENstruation,
— MENopause,
— MENtal breakdown,
— GUYnecology,
— HIMmorrhoids..."
---
"Q: Why do men have pet names for their penises ?
A: Because they don't like to take orders from a stranger."
---
"Q: What do men and women have in common ?
A: They both distrust men."
---
"Q: How can you tell the difference between men's real gifts and their guilt gifts ?
A: Guilt gifts are nicer."
---
Why Do Men Get Jealous So Easily?
Many words can be used to describe Men as a species. "Horny" is one of them. As is "Gullible", "Egotistical", and "Single-Minded" (Yes I know that is two words stuck together. You don't need to point that out). But one word that almost always applies when talking about men, is the word "Hypocritical".
You see, A man will stare at a hundred different girls while standing there with his girlfriend. That same man will openly drool over the attractive waitresses breasts as she bends over to take his order. Yet, if that man's girlfriend takes so much as one passing glance at an attractive male waiter's ass... well... that man will pitch a fit. The question before us today is, Why will a man that openly appreciates the bodies of other females get angry when his girlfriend looks at another man? The answer is actually really simple... Because the woman is his property.
Now wait a minute. Before you women get ready to send me an angry letter laced with death-threats, just hear me out.
Men, for as long as anyone can remember, have been territorial animals. It started with land. Men would seek out what land they want, fight to get it, then they make jackasses of themselves trying to defend it until some larger man comes along and takes it from them.
Eventually, due to some bad judgment-calls, men started to think of women as property. The same rules that applied to land were carried over. A man would seek out what woman he wanted, he would fight to get her, then he would make a jackass out of himself trying to keep her until some "larger" man shows up and shows that woman that the first man had a small penis.
Yup. That's right. Why don't men like their women looking at other men? We have small penises. We know we have small penises, and we know that the other guy you are staring at has a larger penis then we do. We think that if you look at him long enough, you will realize how much larger a penis he has, and leave us to be with him... and his penis... make sense? Good. Glad I could be of some assistance.
(The author of this article is Josh Johnson and yes he is guy. I love what he wrote so I posted it here with a permission from him you can find some of his works hillarious ones too about What are men really thinking this link : http://www.egodriven.net/men/default.htm)
Many words can be used to describe Men as a species. "Horny" is one of them. As is "Gullible", "Egotistical", and "Single-Minded" (Yes I know that is two words stuck together. You don't need to point that out). But one word that almost always applies when talking about men, is the word "Hypocritical".
You see, A man will stare at a hundred different girls while standing there with his girlfriend. That same man will openly drool over the attractive waitresses breasts as she bends over to take his order. Yet, if that man's girlfriend takes so much as one passing glance at an attractive male waiter's ass... well... that man will pitch a fit. The question before us today is, Why will a man that openly appreciates the bodies of other females get angry when his girlfriend looks at another man? The answer is actually really simple... Because the woman is his property.
Now wait a minute. Before you women get ready to send me an angry letter laced with death-threats, just hear me out.
Men, for as long as anyone can remember, have been territorial animals. It started with land. Men would seek out what land they want, fight to get it, then they make jackasses of themselves trying to defend it until some larger man comes along and takes it from them.
Eventually, due to some bad judgment-calls, men started to think of women as property. The same rules that applied to land were carried over. A man would seek out what woman he wanted, he would fight to get her, then he would make a jackass out of himself trying to keep her until some "larger" man shows up and shows that woman that the first man had a small penis.
Yup. That's right. Why don't men like their women looking at other men? We have small penises. We know we have small penises, and we know that the other guy you are staring at has a larger penis then we do. We think that if you look at him long enough, you will realize how much larger a penis he has, and leave us to be with him... and his penis... make sense? Good. Glad I could be of some assistance.
(The author of this article is Josh Johnson and yes he is guy. I love what he wrote so I posted it here with a permission from him you can find some of his works hillarious ones too about What are men really thinking this link : http://www.egodriven.net/men/default.htm)
To all women out there:
HAPPY WOMEN’S MONTH!
Posts
hahaha great post! They do say there's truth in humor.
Now, when did you say is female bashing time again? ;)