What Men and Women Needs To Know About Each Other

Photo by Roy Kim

It was often said that Women are from Venus and Men are from Mars. Makes me think if both sexes are from other planets then which ones are from Earth originally? (Hah! Just my two cents!)

I know it’s just their analogy in some famous book but well its true men and women don’t think alike they just compromise to bridge that huge difference.

Anyway, here’s some funny but with a pinch of truth stories and anecdotes that we already know about our species.Its fun to read them and realize the truthfulness in them (I included both sexes to be fair!)

What Men Needs To Know

In a brief conversation, a man asked a woman he was pursuing the question, "What kind of a man are you looking for?" She sat quietly for a moment before looking him in the eye and asking.

"Do you really want to know?" Reluctantly, he said, "Yes." She began to expound...

"As a woman in this day and age, I am in a position to ask a man what he can do for me that I can't do for myself. I pay my own bills."

"I take care of my household without the help of any man...or woman for that matter. I am in the position to ask, "What can you bring to the table?"

The man looked at her. Clearly he thought that she was referring to money.

She quickly corrected his thought and stated, "I am not referring to money. I need something more."

"I need a man who is striving for perfection in every aspect of life."

He sat back in his chair, folded his arms, and asked her to explain.

She said, "I am looking for someone who is striving for perfection spiritually because I don't need to be unequally yoked...believers mixed with unbelievers is a recipe for disaster."

"I need a man who is striving for perfection financially because I don't need a financial burden. I am looking for someone who is sensitive enough to understand what I go through as a woman, but strong enough to keep me grounded."

"I am looking for someone who I can respect. In order to be submissive, I must respect him. I have no problem being submissive...he just has to be worthy. God made woman to be a helpmate for man. I can't help a man if he can't help himself." When she finished her spill, she looked at him. He sat there with a puzzled look on his face. He said, "You're asking a lot." She replied, "I'm worth a lot."

***

What Women Needs To Know

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules:

•Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

• Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. Don't try to change that

•Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

•Saturday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be

•Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

•Crying is blackmail.

•Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:

•Subtle hints do not work!

•Strong hints do not work!

•Obvious hints do not work!

•JUST SAY IT!

•‘Yes’ and ‘No’ are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question

•Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for

•A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor

•Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days

•If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us

•If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

•You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done

•Not both

•If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself

•ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings.

•Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit.

•We have no idea what mauve is.

•If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

•If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle

•If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear

•When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine, Really

•Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as:

•Sex,

•Sport, or

•Cars

•You have enough clothes

•You have too many shoes

•I am in shape. Round is a shape.

•Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.

Share this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.

Share this to as many women as you can - to give them an education

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