Sunday, May 25, 2008

Life's Great Truths

Great Truths that Children have Learned:
1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.

Great Truths that Adults have Learned:
1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.

Great Truths about Growing Old:
1) Growing up is mandatory; growing old is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) Its frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

The Four Stages of Life:
1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.

At age 4 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
At age 16 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 35 success is . . . having money.
At age 50 success is . . . having money.
At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is . . . having friends.
At age 80 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.

Always remember to forget the troubles that pass your way; BUT NEVER forget the blessings that come each day.
The difference between 'United' and ‘Untied’ is where you put the i.

Bookmark and Share

Related Articles by Categories

13 Happy Finders:

  • EeHai said...

    I found this post humourously frank. Nice to read, specially, about the Santa Claus and truth about getting old.

  • earthlingorgeous said...

    Yeah made me laugh too that's why I posted this one worth it :) thanks for dropping by Eehai!

  • bluedreamer27 said...

    hello buddy i got an award for you in my blog hope you like it have a great day

  • Selerines said...

    Thanks for commenting in my blog.. Kindly add my link in your and keep in touch.....

  • earthlingorgeous said...

    Wow Bluedreamer, thanks for the award wow I feel my blogging appreciated :) Thanks :)

  • Tinggay said...

    Love this post!
    The one about success -- so true!
    Earth, I can bring my daughter and husband. erbe will, in fact, follow a month or two.
    It's my daughter. My mom has a problem with me bringing Paige. She said that if I bring Paige, she'd just die. :(
    My sister lives in the UK. Mom sees Paige as the "compensation" for her daughters.

  • Anonymous said...

    Ha, ha. You've got it there. Funny, but also a lot of truth. :)

  • Don Dousharm said...

    Success: I see a pattern here!!!!

    Is that what I have to look forward to?

  • earthlingorgeous said...

    Hi Nitehawk,
    Thanks, ain't life so funny? We shouldn't take it seriously really!

    Hmmmm.... is the pattern in there accurate as far as your experience? :D haha!

  • bobbyboy said...

    hahaha I see you're in your humor mode lately lol

  • earthlingorgeous said...

    Hi Pie,

    Sorry overlooked that comment, hmmmm... about your mom having a problem you bringing your daughter. Exactly the same as my mom, maybe that's why I haven't left the country yet or God hasn't given me the go signal yet to leave. I had so many opportunities but when my mom goes to this emotional blackmail it's sad and since I'm the youngest and single mom at that I live with them.

    Hmmm... Can you bring your mom? Well Pie good luck to you and whatever your decision be. Maybe you can make your mom realize this will be for the best of your daughter? I know easier said than done. My prayers to you and your mom for enlightenment. God Bless!

  • earthlingorgeous said...

    Yup Bobby, I'm in my humor mode, everyone needs humor, I need humor, works better than being serious about getting your message across.

  • Allen's Darling said...

    Hi EG
    Nice posts just checking here

Related Posts Widget for Blogs by LinkWithin
Grab this Widget ~ Blogger Accessories