What Can Make Me Happy

Its so hard to find a meaningful smile.right now. Especially now that I am still hurting. All I wish is that someone to become miserable, for that someone has taken away all the good things in me. I am more dubious of.other people. I alway feel they are going to use and hurt me. I'm more than cautious , I'm much more susicious and paranoid and have become and will become the person I hate.

To you who is uninvited to read this and stalk my mind, aren't you always so unfair. You can stak me.all you want through my blogs while I have no means of doing the same to you because you don't blog. Aren't you so selfish and unfair to threaten me and my entire family. You broke.my heart already. You took away my life and you want more by taking away my family's life and reputation. You want to destroy me. If I was being cruel.to you with all the words I write.here or in anyway... If you prick me, do I not bleed?

My happiness, a great chunk of it was anchored on you, for the past 8 years of my life. You've been my bestfriend whom I shated most of me than I ever did with anyone else in my life. We talked everyday night and day all those years. I have shared so many tears and joys and dreams with you. Losing you has taken away a big part of me. The saddest part was you don't wanna fight for what we had.

I can't want someone who gave up already. I can't fight for someone who doesn't want to fight anymore. That makes me mad about you. You don't strive hard you just take whatever is thrown at you. Just like with women anyone who pulls thei undies down you screw.

I pray to God he sends someone who believes he is worthy of.me. Who will be.my rock when.I'm.weak. Who will.not seek.refuge.in another woman's are to seek comfort and find a confidante. Who will see me as a woman worthy of respect and loyalty and love not just lust. Who will hold me tight rather than push me away when we fight. Who will listen to me vent rather than walk away or will vent with me than turn away and run somewhere else for comfort. Who believes he can have me and will do all means to do so. Who says he loves me and will show that love in any way he can. Who will never let me go once he got me in his arms . Who will not just give me a ring, but will put the ring on me.

He sounds like a perfect man but he is not and he exist and I will meet him soon. When I do I will be happy again. You will be forgotten and you can have your ring back. I hate people who break their promises, but sometimes I hate myself more for once believed in their sweet words and lies.

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