Monday, April 7, 2008

Comfortable Silence

Silence most often than not intimidates us especially when we are used to the people around us being loud and expressive. It seems everyone is expected to speak even in utter non-sense just so we can break the ice and lose the awkwardness of the situation.

In a relationship, weather it be platonic or the other, talking seems to be a pre-requisite. When one turns silent, the other sometimes feel there is something wrong.

People need space to gather thoughts. Thinking and talking or talking while thinking doesn't work. There are times you want complete silence but that doesn’t mean you are withdrawing from communicating, but rather feeling the moment and being more perceptive. When the other is ready to communicate words will flow smoothly without the pressure or the feeling of obligation to do so.

Being a friend or a lover doesn't always have to mean you have to "report" everything in your mind or what's going on in your life. What’s more important is the presence and not the "information" you get from the other.

In a relationship, there are levels of communication, if you are on the peek or gut level of communication, spoken words are no longer relevant. A stare, a smile, or even a frown could immediately tell us what the other needs.

Comfortable silence this is a good sign in a relationship, it is when one feels happy in it rather than being threatened by it. It is not an awkward moment but a precious one.

We can do more work in the silence than we can by moving the lips and letting the mouth make a continuous noise. That interferes with our own thinking as well as with other people. There is stillness in a thinker's mind; there is quietness in a thinker's presence, where even words are entirely unnecessary.
Robert Beesley

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13 Happy Finders:

  • Tinggay said...

    Sometimes, my husband and I would be sitting or eating and we'd realized that half an hour has passed since we opened our mouth to talk.

    It's fascinating how we can be so comfortable with silence. :)

  • earthlingorgeous said...

    Yeah, isn't that great when silence isn't threatening? :)

  • Don Dousharm said...

    Hi Earth,

    I like it when my wife and I can just sit there and not talk about anything but yet know what each other is thinking. We have been together for almost 17 years and are very connected.

    Sorry I didn't get to comment early this morning (my time) as usual but was running late and didn't have much time.

    Thanks for stopping by The Urban Gardener. Just to let you know, Blogger locked that site for spam today so I won't be posting until the problem is resolved. When it is resolved I guess I will have lots to post.

  • earthlingorgeous said...

    yikes!Spam? How did it get spammed?
    hey not worries :) you take care

  • bobbyboy said...

    Wow, this is very perceptive and true. I think it can be explored even further. Very good post EG!

    I have a request: May I re-post this on my blog? (All credit and links to you) of course.

    I just think the relationship bloggers can benefit from it.

    Thanks EG!

  • earthlingorgeous said...

    sure bobby go help yourself and re-post this on your blog, my pleasure :)

  • Unknown said...

    Hi gurl,

    I'm back.Thanks for passing by. I'm feeling much better now.A getaway was
    just what I needed.

    This is a great post btw.It is indeed wonderful to be comfortable in silence and i think you can attain that if you are comfortable with each other.

  • earthlingorgeous said...

    Thanks Jade glad your getaway helped you unwind a bit :)
    Yeah you can only be comfortable in silence when you are comfortable with each other and there is no akwarness.

  • The Fitness Diva said...

    This comment has been removed by the author.

  • The Fitness Diva said...

    I think silence can be stunningly beautiful, and just what's needed at certain moments. Some events should not be cluttered by mere words!

    Knowing that is something that comes with age and time.
    I once told my little 6 year old niece "do you realize that you do not have to talk every single minute?". lol
    She looked at me like it was a totally foreign thought...something that had never occurred to her! I was playing around and chiding with her, because like most children, she is in awe of her own voice and uses it at any and every opportunity!

    There are a few adults that might want to make a note of that as well...

    Great post!

  • earthlingorgeous said...

    hmmm that was weird what post was deleted? I didn't delted anything :P

  • earthlingorgeous said...

    yeah I agree some think talking is necessary ... especially some adults who think they have to give big explanations of what they did or what they are going to do...

    silence is really golden ... thanks diva for dropping by again

  • bobbyboy said...

    Thank you EG!

    I finished, hope you like it :)

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